it's entirely possible that most blogs are really just an outlet for the ramblings of people like myself who need an outlet for writing something, anything, or something approaching nothing, for that matter, as a way to make some sense of the world. In some meager way, writing about things is, for me, a way to put some order to the chaos that is the constant stream of ideas, interactions, and socio-emotional intersections. in recent days I've mulled over ideas both mundane and urbane, arcane and plain, in search of some reclusive truth that has yet been undiscovered. So far the expedition has turned up next to nothing.
Next to nothing, I say, because in my haste to find something, the haste itself is the thing I found to be most profound. Racing from place to place, in time and space, just "going" seems like a race. Like many, I long for lazy days, restful ways, opportunities to lie back and catch the sun's rays. Alas, much is lost in the journey to win life's little race, for tis not about place, but it IS about pace.
DOn't get me wrong, I still have my vices and propensity to chase the moneymaking ideas as I seek to provide a financial lifestyle that makes living easy, but let's step back and see at what cost... car loans: yes. school loans: yes. business loans: yes. full time job: yes. entrepreneurial spirit that keeps me up at night wrestling with ideas and confounded by lack of funding to make them a reality: check. Numerous web properties that should be built out and sold: numerous. Recent vacations: few. The accounting of my life reads like the balance sheet of a failing company... to much going out, not enough coming in. This is where pace, and the elusive lifestyle of the 150-workday-per-year information worker thoughts come creeping in.
Really, I'd have to completely re-shape my life. I'd be able to watch the kids grow, see them after school and not just after supper. I'd be with them at breakfast, not arriving at work before they wake. I'd be around to tend to the landscaping, the home projects, and the much needed reading of books that lie dormant on the shelf. I'd be taking walks with my bride on beautiful days, laughing over coffee and lemonades (not at the same time), not dealing with bad posture and questionably "healthy" food at the office.
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness... too much focus on the pursuit of late, not enough Life. and not enough thanks to those who've fought and died for the liberties I enjoy. But here lies yet another entry, wistfully seeking the lifestyle of a relaxed, confident adult, while living the life of a crazed, success-hungry wanna-be business tycoon. Oh yes, I believe I could do it - running that successful manufacturing, technology, communications, gaming, or other company... I know I could do it with the right people at my side, all seeking for ways to bring professional and personal pursuits into balance with a simple, local commute, opportunity to work with and train students about good work ethic and the reqard of a job well done, the opportunity to volunteer within the community instead of driving through 9 cities to get to work, missing all the great things happening in between...
ANyway, the ramble has gone on long enough... the thread stretched nigh unto breaking, the blowhard chatterings again splashed across the page for eyes that seldom visit... Perhaps the next post will bring coherence and not critique, but then again, if it's a place to vent and fume and postulate and ruminate, why not leave the windows open to the world? Perhaps the next best idea will float in on the breeze as the curtains billow...
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